Not only is "Christmas Wrappings"--by: "The Waitresses", one of my VERY FAVORITE Christmas songs (as well as Annie Lennox's --of "The Eurythmics"--version of "Winter Wonderland"!)...
but that is exactly what I have been doing for the past 11 hours...STRAIGHT! ...WRAPPING!!!
All of my gifts are finally wrapped!...OMG...every year I have a massive wrap-fest-a-palooza of wrapping...*WHEW!* I wrapped everything in the dining room, where the PINK! tree is. The ENTIRE room was "Ground Zero", and the shrapnel consisted of an array of sparkly, velvet, and glitter ribbons; bows of every size and shape imaginable; rolls-upon-rolls of festive wrapping paper; glitzy and adorable custom gift tags; colored pens (to MATCH each individual gift tag!); 3 pairs of scissors; and about 8 rolls of tape.
Why so many scissors and tape? Well, if you have ever sat on the floor to wrap anything for any length of time, then you are well-aware of the phenomena which occurs that makes the tape,scissors, and pens COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR! So, I end up searching and searching in vain for the stupid things...and it is only after several minutes of frustrated searching, that I manage to finally locate them...UNDER MY BUTT!
Now, my booty is NOT that big; I don't know how it could possibly be giving shelter to my "wrapping tools"...much less have me not FEEL them under "thar". I am convinced that it is some sort of devious little plot to make me crazy.
So, now I have learned to start the wrapping-process with PLENTY-O-"stchuff"...seems to work out pretty well for me, too.
Oooo...back to the topic of fav Christmas songs..."Trans-Siberian Orchestra's": "Christmas Eve / Sarajevo 12/24" is DEFINITELY in the top 3... Wicked-awesome! It just happens to be creshendo-ing thru my surround-sound at this very moment. WOW...very, very cool!
I used to have the wrap-fest ritual on Christmas Eve...and end-up staying awake the entire night. Christmas morning will find me at my parents; house...with everyone ripping apart my loving handi-work in about 3 seconds flat. Then, my parent's house will be the one which the "snow-globe exploded in"!...piles of torn bits of paper will be strewn about the basement, around Mom's BLUE tree!
After we open the gifts, I will help Mom finish cooking her big Christmas-feast (YUM!-YUM!-YUM!)...My mom is the BEST cook...however, I know that everyone says that about THEIR mom. Except in MY case, it is SOO TRUE!
My family does NOT get together more than this ONE time each year (it used to be because we did not like each other that much!) However, as my brother, sister, and I have gotten older, we have learned to appreciate each other (and our crazy family!) a bit more.
This one time each year around the dinner table with our parents (who have been married for 50 craze-filled years!)...is now always the BEST of times! We all end-up laughing and joking about all the unbelievably stupid and insane high-jinks we used to get into as kids. (Hmmm...when's the last time YOU used "high-jinks" in a sentence? --Unless you were describing what happened on "Scooby Doo"!...Hmmm...when was the last time you watched "Scooby Doo"? ...That's too long!)
My dad--who was always SUPER-DUPER strict when we were growing-up (probably to keep us from the life-threatening harm which we were determined to get into!)--is always shocked speechless when we "confess" our "sins" around the "Christmas dinner-table"...while Mom pretends surprise and ignorance of any of our schemes, which she was usually a party to!...Hey "Good-cop / Bad-cop", Don'tcha know...that dynamic usually plays-out in every family. ;)
Oh, it is FUN! My dad always thought that his word was "LAW"...and he STILL DOES! However, to have him find out all the "crap" that we pulled, his reaction is PRICELESS! WELL, he cannot very well take our cars away, or "ground us for life" anymore, 'eh? I bet he wishes he COULD, though!
So, after we all have "risked the 'Wrath of Dad' ",and laughed our asses almost out of the rickety-old dinning room chairs which my parents have had since BEFORE I WAS BORN!-- It is always time for the guys to disappear to...well, WHEREVER the hell it is that guys go after dinner!...And my sister and I help my mom clear the table, and get the kitchen back into some semblance of order...no small feat, let me tell 'ya!
Oh, I should say, my sister and I help-out RIGHT AFTER we have excavated the "wish-bone" from the cavity of the monster turkey...a little tradition Sis and I have...and we are QUITE SERIOUS about it, too. I "cheat", and she usually wins! (Hey, a girl's gotta have a chance to examine the wish-bone, and map-out where the potential weak-spots are!) Hmmm...all that "cheating", and I STILL lose...Hrmmmpppphhhhh!
When we leave my parents' house, my boyfriend and I have to head out to his mom's house...and she lives practically in East-frickin'-Egypt! So, we eventually make it to "Egypt", and do the whole "gift-exchange"-thing with his family...right after yet ANOTHER meal is placed before us...*MOOAAAAAANNNNNNN*..."Alka Seltzer", anyone?
("PLOP!, PLOP!. FIZZ, FIZZ!...Oh what a relief it is!)
After spending time at his mom's house, choking-to-death on all of the second-hand smoke which the plethora of "Egyptians" feel compelled to contribute to the steady mantle of potential lung-cancer already hanging in the room...we head over to his dad's house, visit there for a bit, and then head-on home to have OUR private Christmas (with the puppies and kitties.)...and a few glasses of my "Kool-Aid"-ish "Arbor Mist"!
I strike-up the Christmas tunes on the satellite, he builds a fire, and we "COMMENCE TO OPENIN'!"...FINALLY!
*SCREECH!!!!!*...WHOOPS! That was the sound of my brakes being slammed-on....NO ONE is going to get ANY peace here, until the puppies and kitties are fed their little baggie of left-overs!
So, as I pander to the cacophony of barking and meowing...(Oye-Vey!!!)...My boyfriend builds a fire, and I go hop into my beloved "Celtics" sweat-pants and "Baja Beach Club" long-sleeved "T".
Now, back to our program...IT'S FINALLY PRESENT TIME!!! -*YIPPEE!!!* -WOO-HOO!!!
After much tearing and shredding of the gilt paper, the dogs crawling into my lap (ALL 4 of them!...Good thing that they're SMALL dogs!...'Cause my "lap" is just not that big!)...and the constant threat of the real tree toppling-over, due to the now-Christmas-tree-possessed, manically delirious kitties continuously attempting to climb to the top...we all pass out into the pile of glitter and bows.
At some point in the wee morning hours, we will invariably awaken...the fire has long gone-cold, a draft will be blowing down the chimney flue, I will have rolled-over into a pile of hacked-up tinsel which one (or more) of the cats has barfed-up precariously close to my "pillow" of presents.
I will look up into now-serene, slanted green eye-balls of several of the cats, and they will simply just stare back at me and blink--as if nothing had been amiss while we dozed. I pull 3 or 4 bows out of my hair, and creakily roll over and up, just as--as if in a slow-motion freeze-frame--the tree begins to fall...4 of the cats riding it down to the carpet with the finesse of seasoned "saddle bronc-busters"!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!...AND TO ALL A "GOOD NIGHT"! (And, those darned cats had better start RUNNING!!!)
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
but that is exactly what I have been doing for the past 11 hours...STRAIGHT! ...WRAPPING!!!
All of my gifts are finally wrapped!...OMG...every year I have a massive wrap-fest-a-palooza of wrapping...*WHEW!* I wrapped everything in the dining room, where the PINK! tree is. The ENTIRE room was "Ground Zero", and the shrapnel consisted of an array of sparkly, velvet, and glitter ribbons; bows of every size and shape imaginable; rolls-upon-rolls of festive wrapping paper; glitzy and adorable custom gift tags; colored pens (to MATCH each individual gift tag!); 3 pairs of scissors; and about 8 rolls of tape.
Why so many scissors and tape? Well, if you have ever sat on the floor to wrap anything for any length of time, then you are well-aware of the phenomena which occurs that makes the tape,scissors, and pens COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR! So, I end up searching and searching in vain for the stupid things...and it is only after several minutes of frustrated searching, that I manage to finally locate them...UNDER MY BUTT!
Now, my booty is NOT that big; I don't know how it could possibly be giving shelter to my "wrapping tools"...much less have me not FEEL them under "thar". I am convinced that it is some sort of devious little plot to make me crazy.
So, now I have learned to start the wrapping-process with PLENTY-O-"stchuff"...seems to work out pretty well for me, too.
Oooo...back to the topic of fav Christmas songs..."Trans-Siberian Orchestra's": "Christmas Eve / Sarajevo 12/24" is DEFINITELY in the top 3... Wicked-awesome! It just happens to be creshendo-ing thru my surround-sound at this very moment. WOW...very, very cool!
I used to have the wrap-fest ritual on Christmas Eve...and end-up staying awake the entire night. Christmas morning will find me at my parents; house...with everyone ripping apart my loving handi-work in about 3 seconds flat. Then, my parent's house will be the one which the "snow-globe exploded in"!...piles of torn bits of paper will be strewn about the basement, around Mom's BLUE tree!
After we open the gifts, I will help Mom finish cooking her big Christmas-feast (YUM!-YUM!-YUM!)...My mom is the BEST cook...however, I know that everyone says that about THEIR mom. Except in MY case, it is SOO TRUE!
My family does NOT get together more than this ONE time each year (it used to be because we did not like each other that much!) However, as my brother, sister, and I have gotten older, we have learned to appreciate each other (and our crazy family!) a bit more.
This one time each year around the dinner table with our parents (who have been married for 50 craze-filled years!)...is now always the BEST of times! We all end-up laughing and joking about all the unbelievably stupid and insane high-jinks we used to get into as kids. (Hmmm...when's the last time YOU used "high-jinks" in a sentence? --Unless you were describing what happened on "Scooby Doo"!...Hmmm...when was the last time you watched "Scooby Doo"? ...That's too long!)
My dad--who was always SUPER-DUPER strict when we were growing-up (probably to keep us from the life-threatening harm which we were determined to get into!)--is always shocked speechless when we "confess" our "sins" around the "Christmas dinner-table"...while Mom pretends surprise and ignorance of any of our schemes, which she was usually a party to!...Hey "Good-cop / Bad-cop", Don'tcha know...that dynamic usually plays-out in every family. ;)
Oh, it is FUN! My dad always thought that his word was "LAW"...and he STILL DOES! However, to have him find out all the "crap" that we pulled, his reaction is PRICELESS! WELL, he cannot very well take our cars away, or "ground us for life" anymore, 'eh? I bet he wishes he COULD, though!
So, after we all have "risked the 'Wrath of Dad' ",and laughed our asses almost out of the rickety-old dinning room chairs which my parents have had since BEFORE I WAS BORN!-- It is always time for the guys to disappear to...well, WHEREVER the hell it is that guys go after dinner!...And my sister and I help my mom clear the table, and get the kitchen back into some semblance of order...no small feat, let me tell 'ya!
Oh, I should say, my sister and I help-out RIGHT AFTER we have excavated the "wish-bone" from the cavity of the monster turkey...a little tradition Sis and I have...and we are QUITE SERIOUS about it, too. I "cheat", and she usually wins! (Hey, a girl's gotta have a chance to examine the wish-bone, and map-out where the potential weak-spots are!) Hmmm...all that "cheating", and I STILL lose...Hrmmmpppphhhhh!
When we leave my parents' house, my boyfriend and I have to head out to his mom's house...and she lives practically in East-frickin'-Egypt! So, we eventually make it to "Egypt", and do the whole "gift-exchange"-thing with his family...right after yet ANOTHER meal is placed before us...*MOOAAAAAANNNNNNN*..."Alka Seltzer", anyone?
("PLOP!, PLOP!. FIZZ, FIZZ!...Oh what a relief it is!)
After spending time at his mom's house, choking-to-death on all of the second-hand smoke which the plethora of "Egyptians" feel compelled to contribute to the steady mantle of potential lung-cancer already hanging in the room...we head over to his dad's house, visit there for a bit, and then head-on home to have OUR private Christmas (with the puppies and kitties.)...and a few glasses of my "Kool-Aid"-ish "Arbor Mist"!
I strike-up the Christmas tunes on the satellite, he builds a fire, and we "COMMENCE TO OPENIN'!"...FINALLY!
*SCREECH!!!!!*...WHOOPS! That was the sound of my brakes being slammed-on....NO ONE is going to get ANY peace here, until the puppies and kitties are fed their little baggie of left-overs!
So, as I pander to the cacophony of barking and meowing...(Oye-Vey!!!)...My boyfriend builds a fire, and I go hop into my beloved "Celtics" sweat-pants and "Baja Beach Club" long-sleeved "T".
Now, back to our program...IT'S FINALLY PRESENT TIME!!! -*YIPPEE!!!* -WOO-HOO!!!
After much tearing and shredding of the gilt paper, the dogs crawling into my lap (ALL 4 of them!...Good thing that they're SMALL dogs!...'Cause my "lap" is just not that big!)...and the constant threat of the real tree toppling-over, due to the now-Christmas-tree-possessed, manically delirious kitties continuously attempting to climb to the top...we all pass out into the pile of glitter and bows.
At some point in the wee morning hours, we will invariably awaken...the fire has long gone-cold, a draft will be blowing down the chimney flue, I will have rolled-over into a pile of hacked-up tinsel which one (or more) of the cats has barfed-up precariously close to my "pillow" of presents.
I will look up into now-serene, slanted green eye-balls of several of the cats, and they will simply just stare back at me and blink--as if nothing had been amiss while we dozed. I pull 3 or 4 bows out of my hair, and creakily roll over and up, just as--as if in a slow-motion freeze-frame--the tree begins to fall...4 of the cats riding it down to the carpet with the finesse of seasoned "saddle bronc-busters"!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!...AND TO ALL A "GOOD NIGHT"! (And, those darned cats had better start RUNNING!!!)
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
1 comment:
Merry Christmas Snow! Hope you guys have great holiday!
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